Respect & Trust
X above the words unforced errors, all in green
Unforced Errors Chapter 1: You’re Not Granting Respect and Trust
Unforced Errors is a series highlighting common mistakes leaders and organizations make and offering strategies and tactics to either avoid or recover from the unforced error. These are critiques of how we generally work in the workplace and not criticisms of any single individual or organization.
“Respect is earned, not given” is an aphorism with which I do not agree when it comes to employees to an organization. It creates an adversarial relationship and puts new employees “on the back foot” from day 1. This is not setting new employees up for success.
In addition to respect, trust plays an outsized influence on how individuals perform within an organization. Trust and respect are the foundation on which everything else about an organization’s culture is built. In organizations that have grown above 50 people, I have observed cultural formation of norms related to respect and trust, who gets them, who doesn’t, when they are bestowed, and how they can change. These norms start well below 50 people. They usually start with the founder, CEO, COO, CCPO/CHRO, or other leader who has a heavy influence on the culture.
I understand the urge to not grant respect and trust. It is a protective mechanism to potentially mitigate a portion of the risk that we as individual people get hurt, whether that be wasted time, wasted money, or an ego bruise – which may feel the most painful of all. However, our self-preservation is often counter-productive to the greater needs of the organization.
Before you leap out of your chair and yell, “Mary Ann, I can’t just go around willy-nilly blindly trusting people!” This is not what I am suggesting. I am bounding this with the assumption that all proper due diligence is completed first, whether that be for an employment offer or a new vendor or partnership agreement. I contend that “the ink drying” on an employment offer needs to come with a base level of trust and respect. A base level of trust and respect must be granted at this time to ensure the best chance of success.
This is where I get 100% nodding heads in agreement from leaders. However, when I step into their organizations, this is not how the teams and individuals are operating! When I talk to employees, they make statements like:
“Nothing is ever enough/good enough.”
“I don’t know where I stand/it took me a long time to figure out where I stood.”
“I felt like I couldn’t ask questions.”
This is not limited to employees. I also observe the dysfunction between internal teams, with partners, and with vendors. When organizations approach respect and trust from an earned position, not a grated one after the proper due diligence is done and the offer is extended, it is bait and switch. It’s like the organization forgot that everyone is working toward a common goal.
I broaden the conversation from employees to include teams, partners, and vendors because this can be an easier diagnostic for leaders to tell if this is a challenge within their organization.
Do leaders encourage teams to have an adversarial relationship with vendors, even those with which you have already executed an agreement?
Do you find leaders frequently having to step in to settle disputes between different teams or departments? Are your team members coming to you frequently criticizing outside teams?
Do your customer relationships feel adversarial relationships when they are trying to resolve an issue or disagreement?
If the answers to the above are mostly “yes,” it could be a sign that respect and trust are not at the foundation of the culture or have gotten lost in the sauce of everyday performance and pressures to meet goals. The problem is, it becomes harder to meet the goals when everyone is watching their backs and covering their butts versus trusting employees, partners, and vendors to get their parts done.
Respect and trust are lubricants. They reduce friction. They keep the energy kinetic. They help maintain velocity while enhancing the acceleration of performance.
How do you fortify putting respect and trust first within your teams?
It starts with leadership. Are you as a leader coming from a place of respect and trust? Do you truly trust your teams? Have you told them that? When you come with criticism, do you start with trust? Are you leading by fear or by trust?
If trust (and the implied respect that comes with it) is not in your values, you’re probably due for an overhaul. This is a long-haul item, but one that will amplify organization performance.
In the shorter-term, communicating an emphasis on trust and respect in all forums to and from leaders of all levels will help. Town halls can start with a message of trust and respect. You can have a mantra that everyone knows on trust and respect.
You can start in specific areas to help the message permeate the organization. It can be something simple like “every employment offer is an offer of respect and trust.” If you get pushback there, you may need to extend it to "we trust our talent acquisition team and our managers to hire great people who choose to join us” or “we trust our procurement team to find great partners and vendors.”
Trust coming from leadership must come first. All the bullets after that first one mean nothing if you are leading by fear and not by trust. If you are leading by fear, ask yourself why that is. Do you not trust yourself and the team you have built?
If you’re a CEO, president, board member, etc., please do not take this as a mandate to your CPO/CHRO or people leaders to suddenly introduce “trust” or “respect” as the new buzzword. You’ll lose the trust of your teams if you do not do the self-work first. This is one of those items that tends to flow fairly “top down.” You need to understand why the message you may be sending is not focused on trust first prior to permeating the culture with trust.
If you are a middle manager or an employee who does not manage people, you do have influence here! You help shape the culture. You can bring this philosophy to your teams both by your example and by your words. In team meetings or team huddles, you can be the one to raise your hand and talk about respect and trust. Others will take notice. Some will mimic you. You will be the enjoyable manager or colleague to work with. You can make a bright spot within your organization.
Did this hit home? Let’s talk about it! I encourage you to comment here or reach out to me if you feel your organization can use some help in this space. I also encourage you to spend time self-reflecting and doing your self-work on this.